Dating and the holiday! Oh boy. I wrote recently about tips for dating during the holidays, but what if you’re not dating anyone? You can create a satisfying holiday experience as a single woman.
As you may remember I decided to take a break from dating (here) so I won’t have a date for that Christmas party nor someone to kiss at midnight as 2013 rolls in. So I thought I’d share some ideas on celebrating or dealing with the holidays as a single person.
Feeling Like the Only Single Person at the Holiday Party?
So, you’ve been invited to a party. You don’t have to go alone if that feels uncomfortable. Find a friend, male or female, or a couple you know and suggest you go together. That can be a fun way to get into the swing of things without feeling awkward.
Remember that most people aren’t going to stop their conversation to look over and note that you’re alone. Presumably you know people at this event, therefore you have people to talk to and sit with. You’re not going to be standing in the middle of a circle all alone! I promise.
Consider that going to a party alone let’s other singles know that you’re unattached. This might be the time where you meet an interesting and potential date!
The main goal of going to a party is to have fun, relax and enjoy the company of your friends. You can do that pretty easily as an individual. Make new friends, strike up a conversation with someone you’ve never met. This is a time to let yourself play and have a little fun.
Holidays Feel Like They’re Designed for Couples
That’s a silly notion. So, just let that go. This year if you find yourself alone why not come up with a new holiday tradition? Find an activity that has no prior emotional significance. Maybe you only attended Christmas Eve services because your partner wanted to? This year rent a couple of old holiday classics and have a movie viewing. Or go to the theater. There are likely to be many events in your community for you to choose from, if you want to go out.
I used to struggle with getting a tree just for one person. So, last year I decorated a coat rack with lights, ala Seinfeld’s Festivus pole. It was gloriously dazzling and with the room lights dimmed and familiar Christmas tunes on the stereo I was quite happy. And, there were no pine needles to clean up!
Treat yourself to a special gift for the holidays. It could be as practical as getting a pedicure or as decadent as hopping on the train and heading to someplace new and different for a few days.
Take Charge of Things-Create The Holiday You Want
Your mother’s worried you’ll never find a good man. Your ex has just sent a card with a photo of him with the newest girlfriend. Don’t let them get to you. You can focus on the absence of a man or you can take some time to celebrate “you”. My mother feels sorry for me because I’m single. When I sense that the conversation is about to come up or she’s getting ready to introduce me to one of the widowers in her retirement community I subtly change the subject. I talk about books I’m reading, places I’ve gone, etc… The point is to emphasize that life is not just about being a part of a Couple.
Actually, the holidays are a complicated time to be trying to find a date. You will be much better off waiting until life returns to a less hectic, emotionally laden time. Tell yourself how wonderful you are. Dance in your bare feet. Sleep diagonally across the bed. Wrap a present for yourself. Drink eggnog. Get out the old Bing Crosby Christmas record. Rejoice at all the blessings in our life.
When you’re happy in your own skin and satisfied with the life you’ve created for yourself, you’re more likely to attract a man’s attention.
My plans for that Christmas party? I’ve invited a married female friend to go with me. We’ll both get a little dolled up and have fun. It will be a night out with friends and possibly, new acquaintances. And, we’ll probably have more fun than if we were with partners!
How do you handle holidays if you’re single? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.