If you’re new to the single world flirting may not be easy for you. Some of you have asked me for help with this so I am sharing an earlier article, how to flirt in various situations. My suggestion for those of you are feeling hesitant is to take it slow. Practice light flirty-like conversations with the men in your world–the produce guy at the grocery store, the mail man. Start off with non-threatening situations and move from there.
One of the most flattering things any of us can do is to truly, deeply listen to another person. This is the most natural way to flirt is to start a conversation with a man you’re interested in. Flirting doesn’t have to be as direct or outrageous as it may seem in some of the examples I’ve shared. The key is to act naturally.
Flirting is a great way to let a guy know you’re interested in him or to just have a little fun without committing to anything significant. If the chance arises for a more intimate type of flirting, it can be incredibly sexy.
Flirting should be defined by the circumstances and the relationship of the two people–a sexy flirtation is not appropriate for your prospective boss or best friend’s husband.
- There is the light, subtle flirt you might engage in with the sweet older man, or the cute young guy who opens the door for you- a nice smile, maybe even a touch on his arm. Direct eye contact and a few nice words. Nothing suggestive but flattering. He’ll be thrilled and you can feel good about ‘doing a good deed’.
- Flirting with someone you know and enjoy but with whom there is not going to be a relationship. I have a friend who’s about 12 years older than I am. I know he thinks I’m sexy. I think he is a bit of a ‘dirty old man’. We play. He is a fan of the full-body hug. It’s borderline inappropriate. I give him my biggest smile and plant a kiss on his cheek. He makes a comment about boobs occasionally. I don’t complain, though I sigh out loud and pretend to be mildly offended. Innocent and fun because we know each other well enough to understand there is no real sexual intention.
- The “I find you attractive” flirt. You see an interesting guy across the room and you want to communicate your interest. Look at him directly and smile. If he returns the smile you can intensify your interest a little. Let him know that you know he’s watching. Shift in your seat, brush the hair back off your face, and touch your lips, or lick them. Let your body language talk for you. After a bit look at him again and smile. Then sit back and see what happens. If he’s really interested he might make the next move. If he doesn’t, you could go over and speak to him. Or when you leave, if it feels comfortable, you might slip him a note. Be careful about giving out contact information to strangers.
- The serious flirt. You’re sitting next to a guy, hopefully you’re engaged in conversation, and you want to let him know you’re interested. Date, new friend, total stranger-up to you, just use your intuition. Listen to what he’s saying, use direct eye contact and lean in when he talks. I’m a toucher, so it’s natural for me to want to lightly touch his hand or his arm. The goal here is to signal your intention. I find this type of flirtation great fun. If I’m interested I’m going to turn to face him, move a little closer and give him my full attention. If I get up from the table or bar I might brush into him as I walk by or place my hand on his back as if to steady myself. We both know I don’t need steadying. Once, in the midst of a serious flirt, I when to the ladies room and came back sans panties. As I walked by the guy I was chatting with (I knew him intimately) I discreetly showed him the panties. Had I planned this in advance they would have been the laciest ones I owned. I returned to my bar stool and, with delight, watched him squirm for the rest of the evening. (I don’t advise doing this unless you know him well or you’re really wild!)
- The marital flirt. Married couples should flirt. It can be the prelude to a romantic evening or a way to kick-start a lukewarm sex life. Send him a love note, kiss him on the back of the neck when you walk by. Give him sexy looks from across the room, do things that make you feel good and that indicate your interests. Use it as the beginning of foreplay.
There are times when flirting is not appropriate and I will assume you know who is off-limits. Short synopsis: your daughter’s boyfriend, the boss, the creepy guy who plopped down next to you at the bar, the cop who’s writing your ticket…..
Share one of your tips for flirting. I dare you. Guys, how do you like a woman to flirt with you?